Flowers For Algernon

Finished reading Flowers for Algernon last night. Coaxed by my sister, I initially had an aversion; I am like that with small-fonted books with no particular chapter separation. But as it turns out, I was like my mom when I finished reading it: I too cried. Such a heart-breaking story. Gloom is hanging all over its pages, and it's with such way that the end was unraveled. Great book. I recommend. :)

Nothing beats a good tug in the heart in finding that nudge to be able to write something. Or to be able to create art of some form.

Journey man.. Such a cliche. But what can I do, that's what it is. At this point in my life I still can't say that I have found myself. Who I really am. And I have these fears..

Scared of girls. There was once this hot chick of a canteen girl in our office commissary who I fantasized about, dreamed about, even masturbated to. But when I finally tricked her in going to bed with me, it was all gone. She was under me, I was kissing her until her nape, but I was shaking all over. Sensing it she sat up. When she had the hots for it again our time was up. Rued chance. But that aside, I kept thinking.. What am I afraid of?..

Tentative with guys. I always have this feeling of being inferior that I almost always assumed the passive role with the men that I laid with. Until mid this year. But, that aside too, why the feelings of inferiority?..

Scared of the future. How I can make it in this world when I am indeed standing on my own two feet? If and when I decide to pursue a family if I can manage it properly..

Ah scared, scared, scared. But the thing is, like what Dre Parker said in Karate Kid, I don't want to be scared anymore.

Through this blog I hope to know and meet people who may help me find the answers. To write what is true to myself, and not for others to like me. To try to stay away from all type of pretentions. And in the process, to indeed embark on a journey.. in finding me..

Andrama mo brad! Haha!