Monday, December 31, 2012


I've been putting this off for quite some time now, but finally had the guts to do so. Here's something shiny and new for me this turn of the year:

A happy (and better and healthy) new year to all!

Wednesday, December 26, 2012


Christmas day. It was quite late when I woke up, having slept at 5am the night before. But I was anxious to be fresh before I start hugging and greeting everyone a merry Christmas. Good thing they were not finished preparing the usual Christmas breakfast so I had a few minutes to spare to take a bath. We had a hearthy meal of spaghetti, hotdogs, and ham, and quite a heavy dose of fruit salad for dessert. My sister-in-law to be also joined us; that to-be is on February next year when she marries my younger brother. Then we exchanged gifts and took pictures, and then afterwards finished Elizabeth II The Golden Age which we watched over the meal. Then the afternoon saw me sleeping, yes, the whole afternoon. That's how much I was sleep-deprieved. It was still a great Christmas. The only lacking is that my youngest brother is in Cebu, he is assigned there for work. It's sad because it's the first Christmas that we were not complete.

Anyway, towards the end of the day I got kind of sentimental, and was wanting to connect to someone, you know, just talk over the phone, share that nostalgic feeling. But alas I don't have someone to have that talk with, so I settled on just quietly winding the night away, then go through my list of to-do's that I intend to finish before the vacation ends. I am thoroughly impressed with my new earphones (Phillips SHE7000BR Extra Bass) that I tried in on the cp radio. Browsing through the radio stations I came upon a memorable song. On better days it doesn't usually trigger that same feeling, but on my more vulnerable days the emotions succeed in creeping in. This is one such day.


Later edit: I was in the course of finishing the rest of the entry when I got the feeling that it became too personal. And a bit long, that some deserve an entry of its own. Most probably I will write about them anyway. In any case below are them memorable songs.

 Deep Inside of You (Third Eye Blind)

 Kailangan Ko'y Ikaw (Regine Velasquez)

 Collide (Howie Day)

 By Your Side (Sade)
(addendum: this almost made me cry just now..)
 Summer Paradise (Simple Plan)

I Won't Give Up (Jason Mraz)

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Little Christmas Tree

Finally I endeavored to put up our Christmas tree. I originally planned to do it earlier this month, but busy work schedule prevented me from doing so.

I don't know how it came about, but I have this thing for Christmas trees. I remember that our first Christmas tree was a foot tall. I recall that with its 35-set lights and Christmas balls and garlands to match, it was always richly decorated. I was I think 5-6 years old then, but at that young age I already started tinkering with how mom decorated it. I can imagine now how perplexed she was when one Christmas I filled the tree with Astro-boy figure cut-outs.

Our second tree was not much of a tree, in a sense that it's not patterned from pine but instead made of dried twigs. I was not very happy with that, but I can still recall how much I was tinkering still with how it was decorated.

Our third tree, which is still our current one, we bought when I was graduating from elementary. It is six feet tall, and at that time it was super tall for me, only to find out a few years later that it will be just a few inches taller than me. My dad and mom took me along to buy it, and I think we picked well. The same is the case, I will always tinker with it, and I think my mom and dad got used to it that finally when I was in college they left me alone to set it up. I can remember a time when I stayed up all night setting it up, and watching MTV in the background. (Cable TV was new at that time).

Well this time it took me 5 hours to complete it. I had a challenge with the lights and some of our decor were soaked; we discovered that apparently the cabinet where they are stored had a leak from the recent typhoons. I had to make adjustments, but in the end I was happy with it. At the first few minutes when I turned on the lights I was smiling like a child for quite some time.

Here is the version this year:

Merry Christmas everyone! Have a warm and meaningful celebration y'all.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Sporty Eh?

It was a long, arduous battle. But finally I made my last fist pump, and kneeled, and walked over for the handshake. I am the champion..


I love sports. Badminton being my primary, then table tennis. I started learning tennis earlier this year, but I can't keep up with the early training schedule. I also tried to learn basketball but I couldn't improve on my shooting, frustration got the best of me. I think I am best with racket sports.

(Tennis game is Tennis  Elbow)

Tuesday, December 18, 2012


I am deeply touched. I am..

I want to be brave. To have the courage to take on those that paralyze me with fear. To determine to do right, even in the menial tasks laid out before me. To make a mark, and know I lived a life of meaning.

And I want to feel love. To embrace it, completely, passionately. To not have qualms, and have the freedom to share my whole self to someone. To love rightly, to care genuinely. To demonstrate that love is more than just a feeling, but also a decision, a choice..

(disclaimer: screenshots not my own property or whatsoever, but taken from the movie)

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

How I Wish

Passion in dancing I have. These three dance real good, but I like the one on the left best. Supposed to go home earlier tonight but I spent almost an hour already trying if I can dance this one properly..

 (taken from Aljun Monje's YouTube account.)

Not Man Enough?

I am dead scared in being cast in a situation where I am supposed to display my masculinity. Paranoia grips me hard, that I am convinced that I will fail and that people will come to discover my secret. So meeting the family of a girl friend or her friends is dreadful. The same with acting as a soldier in a play. Even hosting an event. I always get petrified.

Thus this morning I was then moved to ask my confidante here in the office. "Boy para ba akong bading kumilos?" "Hindi naman boy," was his answer.

While I am having a better grasp of my sexuality, I'm still at a lost as to how to deal with this fear. I may even have nothing to fear at all. But in any case I must discover how. I don't want to be scared anymore.