A great desire to face a day without having to deal with who or what I am. I rue the fact that I didn't endeavor to decide for myself who or what I would like to become when I was in my formative years. And now that I have become aware of that, I have that nagging feeling that it's too late. It's hard to unlearn years of psych, and made even harder by the fact that I have to deal with a lot else. And to be surrounded by people who don't have the same dealings makes it harder, giving me the impression of isolation. It's super hard. There are days that I just feel hollow, just an empty shell that is forced to function just to meet what is asked of me. That's not living. Not even near it.
It is my prayer that I will overcome. I am aware of a ton of blessings that is given to me. A lot to be thankful for. But even to ALWAYS have the right mindset is tremendously difficult. A really compromising situation to be in.
It's really super hard. I wish. I hope. I pray. Please.. :-(
You will overcome. :) I don't really know what you're going through exactly but I have faith.
ReplyDeleteThanks! I have stretches of good days scattered with these moments. I just get tired of dealing with it sometimes.
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